Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The 110 mile just because off week

See, this blog isn't down and out yet, but its getting there. I start posts probably at least once a week that I never finish because I get depressed/ bored/ have better things to do/ am pretty sure that no one will care about what I'm writing anyways, so I mean the intention to write stuff is still there at least. So last week was my first week back running after Eugene, and no I didn't mean for it to be in triple digit mileage but it is what it is. I didn't need a triple digit mileage week, since I'm doing a 20 week Twin Cities plan (crafted by the man himself Luke Humphrey) aimed at hopefully getting to Boston-- but I always say that and it never happens-- starting next week. Actually, that kind of mileage is probably going to be detrimental at that stage in the game, but I'll live.

I think I've found out why I run. Not because I can, not to eat a lot, not to look good, not for a sense of accomplishment, not any of those things I said before; and certainly not for fitness. Addidas had this XC slogan a while ago-- I have the poster hanging in my room-- that goes "the farther I run, the smaller my problems become" and that's really it. I mean, I'll be frank, life sucks for me right now. Girl problems, life problems, family problems, way too many problems for a kid to handle. And I'm really good at concealing my feelings so that compounds things. So, I just keep running because maybe then I won't have to cowboy up and face anything. Related: I'm super passive aggressive. It gets worse because the Senate adjourned Sine Die (with no defined start date) on Thursday, so I have a lot of time to think about, and overthink, things. Thank God there's this girl in my office who's around my age who'll always listen and give me sound advice. If you're reading this, you're an angel. So that's good.

But I mean, I run, and then I get back and still haven't solved my problems so I go out and run some more. I know you're thinking "why don't you just man up and deal with it?" well, I've tried, and always have ended up making things worse, so I've given up. I had a 30 mile day last week, and I had a 37 mile day yesterday (well actually I started one 16 miler at 11:47 and finished up at 1:58 the next morning, so I don't know what to count that as). Why I'm not good at running yet is beyond me. At this point you're thinking "woah, this is one messed up kid" and I'd be inclined to agree with you.


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